Being Honest is Always Interesting!!

Thank you for the tremendous response to, ‘A Brush with Death.’ I received love and concern in plenty. Above all, many said that it was a learning experience for them and that reinforced my objective in writing the blog.

Thank you also for a great response to ‘Lost and Found’. I believe the sales of the book, ‘The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse’ by Charlie Mackesy went up. Quite a few people already owned the book and the article got them to take if off the shelf, dust it and read it again. Not a book to be kept hidden away on a shelf!!

My apologies, but I feel compelled to take another quote from the book. In fact I had started on it, when a brush with death happened. Here is the quote:

‘To be honest, I often feel I have nothing interesting to say,’ said the fox.

‘Being honest is always interesting,’ said the horse.

Two words repeated by two different characters with two different meanings and interpretations and wide open to newer interpretations.

‘To be honest’, I believe the fox was just being truthful and using the phrase in a manner of speaking — Nothing profound about it. The latter half of the sentence is far more important — ‘I often feel I have nothing interesting to say.’ I hear many variations of this in my counselling sessions.

The reasons could be many.

Let me go back to the fox who said, ‘I often feel’ — Feeling goes much deeper than stating an opinion or fact. Something has affected his self-esteem and confidence. Could it be a label, a stereotype that we have about foxes? Folklore and particularly British folklore has often depicted foxes as cunning, sly and elusive creatures that can outsmart the most experienced hunters. They have long been associated with trickery and deceit. This is the fox’s nature that we immediately associate the fox with, an animal that should be feared and better kept at a distance.

I looked up the internet for more information about the fox. I thought that I would get other negative characteristics in order to create a monster of this small and medium sized animal. To my surprise, in reality, it appears that the fox is highly intuitive, intelligent, innocent, timid and shy. And if they can trust you they can be playful too.

So much for labels and stereotypes. If kept at a distance — how would he learn to socialize and gather interesting information to speak about?

Could this be me, you, your children / grandchildren, spouse, friends?

For his weaknesses, a boy wrote in his career guidance format — ‘Introverted — I often have trouble trying to get my voice to be heard, talking to people I haven’t met before or getting inside conversations.’

This boy had a good vocabulary and turn of phrase, and yet his body language was meek with no eye contact.

The reasons could be many and needs analysis. That apart, let’s not destroy the self-esteem of children and people by jumping to conclusions with labels without adequate data.

I am not using the pandemic as an excuse, but the reality is that is has affected scores of young people. The adults did not help as their expectations and pressures remained the same as before without understanding the seriousness of what had happened to the social skills of tweens and teenagers. After all, a ‘pimple’ could make all the difference to someone’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

Let’s move on to the horse who made a profound statement. ‘Being honest is always interesting.’ I thought and thought about this statement and got quite caught up in a loop.

I then found this quote (anonymous) which brought clarity and a smile at the ingenuity and intelligence of the horse. The quote says, ‘It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few people by deceit.’

Hence naturally, when honesty is rare, it can become really interesting. Not from a learning point of view, but from a curiosity, ‘raised eyebrows’ point of view — at the courage and boldness of the honest person.

Hubby and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary a couple of years ago. This event is still remembered for the honesty that was spontaneously expressed by so many. Hubby spoke too, about our life’s journey — honest and frank with a dash of humour. A few days later, a gentleman congratulated him and then took it all away by saying, ‘Was it true, what you said?’ Well, the honesty was interesting but somehow unbelievable.

A recent incident was after the last blog, ‘A brush with death.’ A teacher called up to ask me if it was true, did it really happen? I was dumb struck! Sorry, not dumb struck. I reacted. How could anyone think that I could be dishonest about such a serious matter!

And that made me think that all of us possibly learn and develop the habit of dishonesty for its benefits — dishonesty can get us out of trouble or get us what we want and is such an easy way to please people around us (flattery).

On the other hand honesty requires one to have the ability to make the right choices, honesty requires effort, honesty requires the recognition to realize the many benefits that accrue from it. Most of all is that it makes life interesting and joyful.

Where would we like to see honesty that would make life interesting?

In all fields: Political, Legal, Medical, Educational, Religion, Financial, Sports — in all areas that touch our lives. And what can touch our lives more than in our closest relationships — with our spouses, children, family, and friends.

Heath Ledger an Australian actor said, ‘Honesty always gets my attention. Not someone who is honest with me, but someone who is honest with themselves.’ Being honest with myself, I just came to the realization through my illness that I could turn into a very cranky, irritable person if I do not take remedial action. Illness is not an excuse to make life difficult for others. Yes, honesty is difficult and painful.

However, the horse said, ‘Honesty is interesting.’ I believe it can be when we experience its positive consequences. Interestingly, Mark Twain said, ‘If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.’ I think what he meant was that you don’t have to remember a spiral of lies.

There are other benefits –

• Peace of mind
• A Good Night’s rest
• Good relationships based on trust for honesty attracts honesty
• Confidence to take on anything in life
• Holistic Wellness through less stress

And yes, there will also be something really honest to say at our eulogy.