Thoughts →Words →Feelings OR Thoughts →Feelings →Words

A small news item in Business Standard on 13th October 2020 caught my attention for its heading which said, ‘May 31: The saddest day in 13 years’. So I read on, and quite intrigued I went to the internet to find out more. Here is a gist of what I understood.

Chris Danforth and Peter Dodds, Mathematicians and Computer Scientists and Co-Directors of the Computational Story Lab of the University of Vermont have invented a Hedonometer.

The Hedonometer measures word choices on a random 10% sample of the roughly 500 million messages posted on Twitter every day, gauging average public happiness by rating keywords — ranked for their happy or sad connotation — counts them and calculates a kind of national happiness based on which words dominate.

On May 31, 2020 the most commonly used English words were violence, murder, protest, shooting, terrorist, thugs and death.

I am not going into either the merits of the Hedonometer or the accuracy of its conclusions. My interest lies in the words that have been used and how these words are picked up by children, teenagers and then carried forward into adulthood.

These words are all around us from nursery rhymes, stories, conversations and so on.

Let’s take the very popular story ‘Red Riding Hood’. In the original story, a woodcutter came to the aid of Red Riding Hood. He took a pair of shears and slit the wolf’s body thus rescuing the Grandmother and Red Riding Hood.

I came across two modern versions (curated by a friend of mine when we conducted reading workshops for children). Tune in to the endings.

In the first modern version by Alan Coren. “Hai!” cried Little Red Riding Hood, giving a perfect Karate jab to the ribs that brought the wolf to its knees. “Akacho!” screamed Little Red Riding Hood, following it up with a neck chop, a double finger eye-poke and a reverse throat kick. The wolf coughed once and collapsed to the ground. Red Riding Hood is quite independent here and she took charge of the situation.

In the next version by James Thurber. The little girl took a pistol out of her basket and shot the wolf dead. It sounds cute and precocious, none the less violent.

Let me share a story of two boys who had come for career counselling, coincidentally almost consecutively. Both showed an interest in guns. I was curious as it was different from the normal choices of careers. I researched the subject, colleges, etc. During the counselling to my disappointment they were only interested in video and cyber games that had guns, and the number of killings they made in a game. I have had teenagers for counselling who are addicted to video games and turned violent when told to stop. (I refer these cases to a Psychologist)

What about cartoons? There is violence with no consequences. Tom flattens Jerry, he does not cry, there are no wounds, no blood. He comes back to life and chases Tom. What is the response of children? All that they want to know is what will happen next. Just watch a cartoon and you will see that every few seconds there is some change; it could be a loud noise, flashing lights or something zooming in at you. This can trigger stress hormones that produce physiological changes, leading to irritability, anger, bouts of crying or even poor sleep patterns. Children are learning violent behaviour without understanding the consequences.

Just one more example. A 3rd or 4th Standard boy used the choicest of foul language in school. When talked to, he found nothing wrong as his father used the same language when speaking to his wife. A role model for a future abuser!

My purpose in sharing these examples is to put in perspective the causes for sad days based on the words that are used.

We now have a classic chicken or egg ‘first’ dilemma when it comes to our words and feelings.

Say for e.g. there is an upsetting event or even a joyful one:

• Thoughts →Words →Feelings: Do our words come first, which in turn trigger and then reinforce feelings; or
• Thoughts →Feelings →Words: Are there feelings first which give rise to words?

Also, our words can trigger feelings in someone else that can lead to some action — positive or negative; happy or sad.

It would do well to ponder on this dilemma and observe ourselves more keenly. Perhaps at the end of each day we could use our own hedonometer and ascertain whether we are responsible for a happy or sad day for ourselves and others.

• A happy day is full of energy and hope.
• A sad day is filled with fear and helplessness.

Let’s live a more conscious life fully aware of the consequences of our actions. Wishing all of you a very happy Dussehra filled with energy, hope and goodness.